Stupid Evans
by totallymindless
Summary: “That’s what she is a bloody siren, coaxing me into dangerous waters, tempting me to my death.”


**Stupid Evans**

James Potter roughly ran his hand through his dark, unkempt hair, sighing loudly, a muttered swearword lost in the deep exhalation of air. "She kissed me. _She_ kissed _me_. I mean, I was just standing there and she kissed me. She _kissed _me," he continued to ramble rather incoherently, placing his hands on either edge of the sink and glowering at his reflection.

"Of all the things, she could have done, and _she kissed me!_" He pounded his head against the mirror, groaning and muttering another string of swearwords. "How the hell, I am to deal with this? She wasn't supposed to kiss me." His fingers entangled in his messy hair and he tugged at the roots, hoping the sharp pain would halt the thoughts swirling through his mind. When it didn't work, he gazed by up at his reflection. "I was just… joking. I didn't think she'd actually, _do it_."

Moaning, he dropped his head into the sink and beat it against the cool porcelain three times, causing a steady, _thump, thump, thump,_ to echo throughout the small bathroom. "I never thought she'd actually… I mean… she _has professed to prefer the GIANT SQUID over me!_" he cried into the sink.

Slowly, he lifted his head and stared at the bright red dot forming on the tanned skin of his forehead. "And what a bloody brilliant kiss it was," he sighed heavily. "Of course, she'd manage to make it the best kiss of _my life_. Just, to rub salt in the wound, I'll bet." Cursing under his breath again, he growled at the image of himself in the mirror. "_Stupid Evans,_" he hissed, "making me feel all… fuzzy." Running his hand through his hair again he grumbled, "I sound like Padfoot when he is talking about treacle tart," throwing his reflection another glare.

"What was I thinking?" he moaned, sliding down the wall to the floor. "Well, I was thinking she wouldn't go through with it. That's what. I expected her to slap me and storm of in a huff. _That's_ what Evans _does!_ Storm off in dramatic huffs. Not_ kiss_ _me_."

"Damn her! Kissing me. And I have to keep up my end of the bargain. Damn it! Six weeks. Six–" he hit his head against the wall, drowning out the sound every word foul word he could think of. "–weeks of licking the soil off her boots. _Six weeks_ as Evans," another swearword, "house elf!"

"Prongs?" a voice sounded at the door.

"What?" he growled in return.

"One of the First Years said you were in here talking to yourself" came the snickering reply.

James stuffed the tip of his wand in the crack of the door, muttering a curse and the person outside screeched, "What the hell was that for?" before the sound of heavy footsteps left James in solitude once more.

"For listening in on me when I am talking to myself, Padfoot," James muttered moodily.

"Stupid _Evans_," he grumbled standing up and gazing in the mirror again. "_Stupid Evans_, who _hates_ me. _Stupid Evans_, who kisses like a siren." He turned on the tap, pushing his glasses onto the top of his head, and splashed the cold water onto his face. "That's what she is a bloody _siren_, coaxing _me_ into dangerous waters, tempting me to my death."

Exhaling slowly, he blew his dark hair out of his eyes, grabbing a towel and drying his face. He slipped his glasses back down onto his nose and sighed. "_Evans_, stupid, beautiful, temperamental, charming, caring, _Evans_," he murmured.

A sharp rapping sounded against the door. "Potter?" a sweet little airy voice called. James didn't answer; it was Evans, no doubt about that. "Potter, look, I know you're in there. I'm sorry, okay. I shou–" he pulled the door open and quickly crashed his lips down on the redhead standing in front of him. She tensed automatically, trying to shove him away, and then suddenly, she stopped. She just stopped and melted into him.

When they parted James gave her a shy grin. "Sorry, Evans," he whispered, stepping around her and striding slowly to the compartment currently containing his friends.

"Wait, Potter," Lily Evans called. James halted, turning around to face her. "You still lost the bet, you know. Just because… well, just because you… did _that_, doesn't change anything."

James smirked, ruffling his hair. "I know."

"Well, then," Lily breathed, walking toward him. "I suppose, for your first duty as my…" she smirked, "house elf–" she stopped directly in front of him "–is to do that again."

Raising an eyebrow, James asked, "Do what again?"

"Kiss me again," she answered, staring into his hazel eyes.

"Oh," James grinned. "That, I suppose I could do that," he answered carelessly. Then, he kissed her again, only this time it was soft and lingering, like all first kisses should be.

Lily pulled back after a moment, blushing. "Well, I'll see you later, then," she said quickly, abruptly leaving him and entering the bathroom.

James Potter grinned widely as he heard her say, "_Stupid Potter!_" as he strode down the corridor.

* * *

_**Any and all feedback is very much welcome.**_


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